got 2 days of mc... should i b happy or not.... woke up at 4 am 2day... just cant freaking slp... than at around 6+ 7 i went back slp..

woke up by a phone call from teacher... 4got 2 sms him i cant make it 2 sch 2day... ok nvm... wat really pissed me off is my friends... when they r sick nvr come even though i noe they make excusses i diam diam n say nth... when teacher call me tat time i noe he put on loud speaker again... than he ask me y i nvr go sch.. so i told him i sick... than my friends behind "ya lah sick lah... always sick.." knn damn fucking cb noe... than nvm.. teacher ask me "u got mc anot?" than i say "i ltr going c doctor" than another friend also damn fucking cb go say "cher u duno ah? he parents doctor..." knn lor... sibei dulan... seriously it makes me think tat the friends i made up till now... which 1 of them r really friends.... ask them go out, all last min say cannot make it than ownself go out among themselves... ask them help wif hw so unwillingly help... ask them do abit of stuff nia like wan them 2 die like tat... but on the other hand... when they wan me help them wif hw, than there act so friendly come n ask... when wan me 2 do things but i dont wan they like wan me die.... wat is this? seriously... wat fucking friendship is this? super damn pissed... now i duno if i'm burning cos of my fever or am i burning cos i'm angry... friendship my ass... i see them as old friend n cos teacher was on the phone if not san zi jing all come out liao... from sec 2 till now... such a friend... duno y i became friends wif them... mayb cos i'm blind.... or mayb cos i'm too kind... seriously i'm so damn fucking angry now...

now i learn le...dont trust anybody in the world other than urself... if not 1 day when u get backstabbed than u start 2 b furious... but i noe there r some friends i can trust.. like her.... if not.... i think i'm just gonna isolate myself on this planet... when i die no1 will noe... when i sad nobody will care... when i'm angry nobody bothers.. when i sick no1 concerns... the blood boils within me now.... feel like if u crack an egg on my forehead it will cook right away...

fucking pissed... anybody tat say 1 single wrong thing tat makes me even more angry better watch out... i duno wat i would do... mayb straight away take knife go find tat person n chop tat person up... i think this fever gonna last me for 1 whole wk..... i think even if my fever went down i still b burning hot...

went 2 doctor tat time i said felt feverish... than he take my temperature say i'm not having fever... than he hold my wrist area.. than say "hmmm.. but feels warm leh.." btw this doc is my family doc... been seeing him since i was very young.. than he was like ask if i'm coughing or having flu or wat.. i said coughing.. no flu.. than he abit shocked... cos i nvr got once went 2 c him without flu... young tat time my flu like running tap water like tat... non stop de... anyway.. b4 tat my dad was at the kopitiam buying food.. so when he came the doc was like "eh ur dad come alrdy..." than he told the nurse ask him 2 come in... than they chatted... than the doc give me mc tat time ask me.. "hmmm u wan mc for tmr anot? can make it 2 sch tmr?" than i say "er... should b can lah" than he was like "huh? should b ah? k lah give u 1 more day just incase.." than my dad was like "aiya.. he fake fake only.." than the doc say "but he really felt warm..." oh well...

but weird thing is i am feverish yet thermometer says i'm fine... if tats the case next time i fever than jia lat lor... take thermometer as evidence also cannot liao...

anyway off 2 eat my porridge... duno y i'm craving for porridge....



somehow i feel tat i'm drifting away from u again... i duno y i feel this way... but i serious hope my feelings r wrong..... i really wana believe tat its wrong.. but somehow sometimes i just cant stop tat thought from poping out of my mind... haiz... pls tell me i'm wrong..... pls........